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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24526654">Built to last</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimesBeingWhatTheyAre/pseuds/TimesBeingWhatTheyAre'>TimesBeingWhatTheyAre</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Growing Up (and the ways it hurts) [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>How I Met Your Mother</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Episode Tag, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, S07e10 Tick Tick Tick, Whump</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:14:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,041</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24526654</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimesBeingWhatTheyAre/pseuds/TimesBeingWhatTheyAre</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Barney knows that he and Robin are not the kind of couple that are built to last.</p><p>Episode tag S7E10 'Tick Tick Tick'</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Robin Scherbatsky/Barney Stinson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Growing Up (and the ways it hurts) [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1772482</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Built to last</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Barney knows that he and Robin are not the kind of couple that are built to last.</p><p>They are both too explosive, too set in their ways to ever truly change and mould together like couples ought to do. They need people who can change around them, because they will not change to suit one another, and yet-</p><p>They do. Suit one another. They are complimentary, similarly cynical and mocking, scotch and adventure, and the kind of person who draws the attention of the entire room.</p><p>Barney tries for years to draw away from Robin, but even after the catastrophic failure that is their first attempt at a relationship, he can’t separate himself completely. He can’t separate himself enough.</p><p>And so, when they sleep together and cheat on Kevin and Nora, Barney isn’t as horrified as he should be. Nora is only his second (well, third counting Shannon in the pre-suit days) real relationship, and he really does like her, but she’s got a problem.</p><p>She’s not Robin.</p><p>He should be regretful and hate himself for his actions, because he promised never to lie to Nora again, but Robin makes it impossible to do.</p><p>So they agree; they will break up with their partners and meet together at midnight.</p><p>The night is torture, and telling Nora is torture, and she’s willing to forgive him but-</p><p>“Can you tell me it didn’t mean anything?”</p><p>-he can’t.</p><p>Robin means everything, and even if he didn’t realise it before, it’s Robin that he wants and has always wanted.</p><p>He’s terrified and optimistic when the others walk into the bar, and a little distant when he says “Nora and I broke up,”</p><p>Lily’s responding shock is probably a clue that he’s made the wrong choice, but Robin walks in wearing the emerald green dress that just makes her shine and Barney can’t regret his choice.</p><p>“I think the worst part is over,”</p><p>Not even when Kevin walks in behind her and breaks his heart.</p><p>He tries not to let the others see the betrayal he feels (because she promised! They agreed!) but there’s no hiding the way his face falls, the honest smile sliding off of it.</p><p>He wonders if he told Robin something wrong.</p><p>
  <em>“You’re almost as messed up as me,”</em>
</p><p>He gives her a questioning shake of his head, and she looks back mournfully, but certain. She shakes her head.</p><p>Barney reels back from her, and downs his drink in one solemn gulp, feeling the tears prickling behind his eyes and firmly pinching the bridge of his nose to stop them from falling.</p><p>Not in front of her.</p><p>His control is tenuous though, so he makes his apologies to the group.</p><p>“I should go. Tough night,” he quirks the best smile he can, eyes flicking around and trying not to look at Kevin or Robin.</p><p>He doesn’t blame her.</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” Robin says to him, and the others must think she’s talking about Nora, but they both know the truth.</p><p>“Don’t be. It’s nothing,” Barney says, and it’s surprising to realise that he actually does mean it. Well, the first part anyway.</p><p>He’s a screw up. He’s messed up. He’s a broken womanizer with daddy issues and commitment issues and she deserves better, and always has.</p><p>It doesn’t mean he’s not devastated.</p><p>The tears begin as he walks out of the bar, but a strange sense of melancholy accompanies them and so he doesn’t rush as he puts his spare key into the door to Ted and Robin’s apartment, opening it slowly and closing it behind him, just as he had done earlier that evening (in preparation).</p><p>He makes for Robin’s room, but he isn’t prepared for the wave of emotions he feels as he looks at the bed, rose petals spread across it and candles flickering along her cupboards. It’s romantic, something easy for Barney to fake and far harder for him to mean, and this?</p><p>This was sincere.</p><p>He sinks to the floor beside the door, burying his head in his hands and letting the sobs begin, not bothering to wipe away the tears as they fall, and moving his arms to wrap tightly around his knees in a facsimile of a hug from a friend.</p><p>He wishes that he could tell someone else.</p><p>He’s glad that they don’t know.</p><p>Eventually (a few minutes later) Barney forces himself off the floor, and the sense of quiet returns, even though his emotions feel flayed and raw to the touch. He picks up the small bag from under the bed where he left it, and silently begins to pick up the rose petals, handful by handful, not even in the mood to break them into nothing in his hands. They are delicate, and beautiful, and they say what he was working his way up to saying.</p><p>He walks over to the side and blows out the candles, holding back his tie out of habit as he does. Not all the rose petals are put away, so he continues with that, trying to pretend that he’s choosing his actions carefully instead of distractedly darting from one thing to the next.</p><p>Barney keeps his lips tightly locked, and can’t keep his jaw from furrowing in sorrow, nor stop the odd tear from dripping noiselessly down his cheeks.</p><p>At least nobody’s around to see his shame, and his broken hopes.</p><p>Unbeknownst to Barney, Ted pauses outside the room as he sees movement, and watches (for a moment). He feels like maybe he’s missed something, but Ted’s not really that capable of thought in his current state, so he walks away without a sound. In the morning, he’ll wonder what he saw, and perhaps dismiss it as an odd dream, or maybe he’ll just forget about it altogether.</p><p>Barney collects up the last of his candles, uncaring of the hot wax that falls on his hands as he puts them back into the bag, and leaves Robin’s room without a glance back.</p><p>She’s happy.</p><p>Good.</p><p>That’s all he wants from her.</p><p>Maybe he’s finally growing up.</p><p>And when Barney finally unlocks the door to his own apartment, cold and unfeeling as always, he can’t help but wish that growing up didn’t have to hurt so much.</p>
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